Friday Fishwrap: Danish Santa Sues, Netherlands goes Polygamous and Urinals Rise

Friday September 30, 2005

Now, when I was young, I always thought Santa holed up at the North Pole, free from politics and screaming F-16 fly-bys. When I got older, I heard the famous fat guy had chosen Lapland for his humble abode. But now comes word that the Danish Air Force paid about $5,000 in compensation to a part-time Santa Claus whose reindeer died of heart failure when two fighter jets roared over his farm in Denmark recently. Is Santa's entourage moving south? I dunno, but any more global warming and Santa might as well be downing Mojitos in Malta.

Did you know that "in the Netherlands polygamy has been legalised in all but name?" That's right, last Friday, the dapper Victor de Bruijn (46) from Roosendaal “married” both Bianca (31) and Mirjam (35) in a ceremony before a notary who duly registered their civil union--(First Trio "Married" in the Netherlands - Brussels Journal). Why "Married?" Because marriage between three people isn't exactly codified into law, even in the Netherlands, but a civil union (the rights the U.S. is debating giving to homosexuals) between three or more is legal.

Did you know there was a World Toilet Summit in Belfast? You just missed it. But if you had attended, you'd have been privileged to see the magical rise of the stainless steel urinal as it ascends from the depths of Shaftsbury Square for its nighttime only appearance...

Celebrating the start of the Summit, Belfast City Council will unveil their new £25,000 UriLift toilet facilities at Shaftsbury Square on Monday afternoon. The UriLift was designed to solve the ever-increasing problem of street corners and alley ways being used as public toilet facilities by late night pub goers. The toilet is a stainless steel urinal that, during the day, fits in a 1.3 metre deep hole beneath the pavement and is as conspicuous as any other manhole. .Open Seven nights a week from 10. 30pm until 6.00am, it rises hydraulically to become an easily visible urinal.

So, you're waddling through Shaftsbury Square at night, and then, suddenly, like a dream vision brought on the way too many pints of ale, you see, rising from the pavement, the answer to your bladder's prayers.

Problem is, you'd probably trip over that magic urinal, wouldn't you?