A Week in Provence: Day 6, Aix and Incompetent Waiters

Today we drove the little back roads to the big city called Aix-en-Provence. Aix has been on and off the tourist's radar for years. It was big in the 70s, then demand for it declined. Now travel writers are once again extolling its virtues.

The problem with Aix is that there are no Roman columns poking through the pavement like extraordinarily hardy asparagus stalks to gawk at; there are no world class museums and but a single cathedral of interest. It is called "the city of 1000 fountains" but we didn't see nearly that many. The fact is, what's interesting about Aix is that it's a city totally devoted to the movement and pleasure of people. The fountains are indicative of that. The Cours Mirabeau, for example, might remind you of the Champs-Élysées in Paris. It's planted with double rows of plane trees in the center, where you can walk in shade, and bordered by architecturally interesting houses and fountains and lined with restaurants and cafes. It's as if someone took absolute care to make the city a place pleasant for hanging around in. That's just not done any more. Enjoy Aix for what it is. It's a place you might really want to live in.

Saturday is market day in Aix. Be prepared, because it's one of those gigantic markets that takes up most of the older core of the city. If you have made it a point to visit one market on your European vacation, make it this one. It's worth it for the fish stalls alone--but it's fall, and so the mushrooms are out and will take center stage here. Look at the size of the one being displayed on the left (click to see it bigger).

I don't think you'll find a place more interested in adding flavors to olives than Provence. Sure, you'll find olives in Italian markets, but the variety will consist mainly of different types of olives rather than different marinade treatments. Here there are long tables chock full of all manner of olives, flavored and natural. If you're into color, the spice vendors have stalls that will dazzle your senses too.

Aix is also known for the high quality of its restaurants. After amusing the vendors with our picture taking we headed for one that was filling up fast on the edge of the food section of the market. La Mado. Remember that name.

We asked for a table for two. The maitre d' inquired if we had reserved. Nope. Well, would we accept a table upstairs? Sure. Why not?

Well, because that's evidently where they imprison the incompetent fools looking for all the world like waiters, for one thing. Honestly, if incompetence was a turkey, we were about to have Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings.

I mean the minute we sat down we knew we were in trouble when the "waiter" brought the man next to us a beautifully prepared duck leg. The customer looked surprised. Finally he asked, "THIS is my FISH?"

There was a small disagreement. The dish went away. There was more disagreement. The dish came back. The man shrugged and ate the duck.

In the mean time Martha, having seen the oysterman shucking away out front, had a desire for bivalves--so she ordered six from Breton to slurp down before the plat du jour, which happened to be the duck that looked mighty good next to us served as a fish course. It took the oysters quite a while to arrive. It took the rest an hour longer.

While we were waiting I amused myself by watching other diners. One group ordered a big platter of oysters and it wasn't right. So the platter disappeared and eventually returned. Then, after 5 minutes, the folks at the table started frantically waving their arms as if their team had scored a goal in a tight soccer game. After getting the attention of the "waiter" it only took them another 5 minutes to get bread and implements to eat with. Shortly thereafter the waiter brought the wine, discussing it with the table for a number of minutes before returning it to the ice bucket and leaving. After a bit of discussion, a woman sitting at the table began to offer the wine to her friends, holding the bottle aloft in the universal "do you want some of this?" pose. Everyone wanted wine--trouble was, it hadn't been uncorked yet.

Every table had a story. The people on the other side of us seemed very nice; they took the mistakes in service in stride. In fact, they laughed it all away. When two dishes were put in front of us, only one was what we ordered--in reality, those two dishes were for the laid back folks. Martha realized there might be some problem, but stuck her fork quickly into her duck because she was really hungry and annoyed and didn't want it taken away. Whatever they put in front of me was taken away and given to someone else. Then my fish came (real fish) but I didn't have silverware. Nobody noticed, so Martha asked the laid back folks if we could have the extra place setting from their table and they kindly gave it to us.

But by the time the last plate came to their table, they didn't have enough silverware to go around either.

I will cut this short by saying we were charged €12 for a tiny pitcher of white country wine that was on the menu for €4. Luckily, as it turns out, they couldn't change it because they used these high-tech touch screen personal assistants that seemed to need lots of tapping with a stylus to get them to register your order (holstered yet!) so they ended up giving us the wine for free. It wasn't worth it, believe me.

Honestly, I could go on and on. It's hard to believe that this much wait staff incompetence could ever gather in one place.

Don't ever accept a table on the first floor of La Mado at 4 Places des Precheurs in Aix. I'm telling you this for your own good. (The food was decent though.)

I leave you with an image from the last town we visited today. It's the town of Lauris. It has a highly touted restaurant, and I suspect they get along with writing your order on a pad with a pencil, but the restaurant was closed for vacation when we were there. In any case, I leave you with an image of the Luberon distilled to a window all aglow in the November drizzle.

There. You can't be any bluer than that, can you? Not unless you eat al La Mado that is.